New List

Someone suggested to me that Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 should be on the list. Good point. So I'm added it to the list. I'm also added Sonic even though I haven't done the review yet.

9. Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad
8. Sonic Unleashed
7. Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
6. Sonic the Hedgehog
5. X-Blades
4. Pimp My Ride
3. Bomberman: Act Zero
2. Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
1. Vampire Rain

Keep in mind that games directed to little kids do not count since they generally suck to begin with. Besides, as long as they're happy (and quiet) then I'm happy.

Vampire Rain (W)

Oh my god. This is it. I found it. This has to be the absolute worst game for the Xbox360. Never have I played a game so bad, that I felt such strong physical pain before. Seriously...OW. To be completely honest, I didn't get far into the game because it was so bad, I couldn't play it anymore. Despite this, I still had a review to do, so I gave the game to 2 avid gamer friends of mine and asked them to give me feedback on this shit. For some reason, they don't want their names attached to this review. Maybe it's because they don't want to be attached to this piece of shit. Maybe it's because they knew I would misquote them and call them names. Either way, I thank them for what they done for me. Now, here's our review of the game that beat out Leisure Suit Larry for the top spot of worst.

Sam Fisher?

The game starts off with a poorly, POORLY, acted screen with a commander and his assistant talking about the increasing vampire problem. It's this scene where you hear this line:

"We were suppose to be the country's watchdog. Well, this watchdog grew some teeth, and it's time to bite back."

......moving on...

So, basically you play as Lloyd who's job it is to get rid of these bastards. How do you do it? By sneaking past them. Yep, this is a stealth game, and a game where you sneak past vampires is suppose to be pretty freakin sweet (I don't really like stealth games, but the other guys do), but they couldn't fuck it up worst, but I digress. The story is bad, the acting is bad, the dialog is bad, your sister's cooch is bad; everything is bad.

I'll show you who's taillight is busted

You know in the old Metal Gear Solid games, there was a radar telling you where the enemies were? Well, this game has it too, but nothing will show up. I was wondering what was the fuckin point of the map if it didn't tell me where the enemies were, but then I found out about the Necrovision. You use your goggles to see if anybody in the area is a vampire or human. If you scan a vampire, then it shows on the radar. It's a fuckin hassle to stop every 5 minutes to put on the goggles to see if it's friend or foe just so they appear on radar. Why not just have them on the fuckin radar to begin with!? And why the fuck are there humans on the street? Don't they know there are vampires? Anyway once you do that, then you can start sneaking around. Now, what's one important aspect of stealth games that is vital? It's freedom of movement. Does this game have that? Of course not. It's a shitty game. The game is very specific on where you have to go, and if you try something else, then expect to hit dead ends and have vampire teeth up your ass. Does the game tell you where to go or at least leave some clues? No; that would be the smart thing to do. Instead you have to find out through trial and error, and in a stealth game, that leads to a shitload on death. What the fuck were they thinking?

The only time a gun is useful.

So, what do you do if a vampire spots you? You die. You will always die. The guns you carry around are nothing more than a cocktease because they don't do shit against the vampires. I unloaded a whole clip of my sub-machine gun into one of these bastards, and he still killed me, IN 2 HITS! Can you run? Fuck no. Vampires are much faster than you. Plus, you will have to deal with sticky controls, so even if you could run, you will fuck it up and die. If a nightwalker spots you, just rest the control down and wait for the retry screen because there aint a damn thing you can do about. In good stealth games, you could at least defend yourself to some extent, and if you couldn't do that, you could always run. Vampire Rain basically gives the middle finger to players and says "Tough shit. You shouldof never got seen." This game is pure agony in disc form, and if you bought this, I wouldn't blame you for killing yourself.

Rating: Red Rings of Death (TWICE!)

Well, that might be the worst game for Xbox360, period. That's good. It means I won't have to review Sonic the Hedgehog or Too Human because I know for a fact this is worse. I know some people were looking forward to see me bash Sonic again, so I'll tell you what. I'll still do the review for Sonic the Hedgehog on 360. It's not over yet. There is still one game left that may be the worst game yet. Until then, here's the list from bad to worse.

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad
Sonic Unleashed
X-Blades
Pimp My Ride
Bomberman: Act Zero
Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
Vampire Rain

NOTE: That new Batman game is awesome. The review is coming soon.

Transformers 2: Quickie

I told myself I wouldn't do another quickie after the Godfather 2 review, but I don't have much to say about this game. All you do is shoot other robots. You can choose to do the Autobots or Decepticons' campaign, but the game is still the same: shoot everyone or protect something by shooting everyone. Despite the complete lack of gameplay variety, it's not really that bad. If you go into it with the mindset that is just a bunch of robots fighting, you might find it initially enjoyable. The downside is it gets old quick, but that's okay because the game isn't that long to begin with. Actually, that's not okay seeing as how the game is 60 fuckin bucks. As for transforming, I found it fuckin useless. With the exception of the tutorial stage and the ocean stages, I never had to transform once. While we're on the subject, who's fuckin idea was it to make the fire button and the transform button THE SAME FUCKIN BUTTON! You have to hold LT while pressing RT to fire, but if you forget, then RT will transform you. If you do wanna transform, you have to hold down the RT to stay transformed. You can't stop the vehicles either; RT is also your accelerator. So, if you let go of the RT to try and stop, you'll transform back to your robot state. What a load of shit. Other than that, it's an okay game to entertain the kids with.

Rating: Meh

NOTE: Are you fuckin happy now Travis? I reviewed the fuckin game.

'Splosion Man (XBLA)

What is the best way to solve any situation? You make something explode. Someone parked in your parking space? Boom! Need to remodel your kitchen? Blammo! Someone owes you 50 buck, so you go to his house to demand your money back, but he acts like he's not home despite the fact that his car is clearly in the driveway so he must be home, so you call his cell to see if he picks up, and when he doesn't you leave a message on his answering message saying if you don't get your money back there will be trouble, but he doesn't contact you back even though he was just talking to your girlfriend on facebook, so now you have to get back, but don't know how? 'Splode! If you think that would make a great video game, then you think exactly like the guys at Twisted Pixel, creators of 'SPLOSION MAAAAAN (hmm hmm hmmmm). This game is funny, addictive, original, simple, and bottom line, fuckin awesome.

I make thing go boom!

You control a man who is basically walking napalm, set to explode whenever he chooses without hurting him. Clearly, he's an experiment gone in a lab in the middle of who gives a fuck. Your job is to make it to the end of each level. Simple. Kinda. Maybe. In terms of story, you're not gonna find any here, but that's okay. This kind of game isn't meant to have one. It would only ruin the charm of it. Speaking of charm, this game is so devilishly innocent looking. Even when you blow up scientists, there's no real death to be seen. They turn into meat products like ribs and hamhocks (and maybe a veal). Even 'SPLOSION MAAAAN (hmm hmm hmmmmm) doesn't look all that threatening himself despite being a walking forest fire. I guess what I'm saying is the visual presentation makes the game more fun.

To play 'SPLOSION MAAAAN (hmm hmm hmmmmm), you move with the left stick and...well, explode with everything else. Seriously. You do everything by exploding. To jump, you explode. To kill scientist, you explode. To flip switch, you explode. To slow your fall, you explode. To order pizza, you explode. To wipe your ass, you explode. Really, you only have 2 options here: to explode or not to explode, and more often than not, you're not gonna pick the second option. The control scheme is so simple, there's no way you can fuck it up. Does that make the game easy. Fuck no. Like N+, this game gets brutal as you progress. Trying to figure out how to get through certain spots is basically trial and error, and sometimes it can get annoying. When you die a certain amount of times, a box appears telling you you can skip over to the next level. I wish you can turn that option off because I'm not skipping the level; you feel defeated that way, and I'm not gonna let a video game beat me!

[Neil]: Ninja Gaiden and N+

.......okay, I'm gonna let ANOTHER game beat me. If 'sploding by yourself gets boring, you can always bang with a friend (not to be confused with 'bang a friend') in 50 co-op levels. Good luck trying to coordinate that shit. You have to time your 'splosions to get through obstacles, and that can be a bitch when playing with someone who can follow simple fuckin directions.

[Neil]: Don't look at me like that. I just got the damn game.

We grilling tonight

'SPLOSION MAAAAN (hmm hmm hmmmm) is a great puzzle game, I recommend everyone to get it, especially if you like N+. It replaces Battlefield 1943 as the best XBLA game on the market (don't bug me about Shadow Complex; it's not better). It's 10 dollars, so go download it now. If you don't have the internet, steal your friend's hard drive. He won't know.

Rating: Fuckin Awesome

NOTE: Please tell me you got that Trojan Man reference.

Onechanbara (W) (STS)

Wow. I didn't think I would have to touch this game. Back when I did my STS segment, I left this out because I couldn't continue to play shitty games anymore. Now that I'm actively looking for shit, we come to it again. So, how is Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad? Well, besides having a name so long I couldn't fit it in the title, OneSantaBarbra isn't as bad as all the critics made it sound. Don't get me worng; it's still a steaming pile of shit that been left out in the sun all day to cook, but it's not the worst. Damn Larry, is there any game that can remove you from that spot?

....Boobs...again...

What's the story like? I have no freakin clue. I can't make sense of the story. I found out this is the third game in the series, so I guess you need to play the first two to get the back story. If that's the case, then why release this one to the states and not the others? Well, whatever. Let's just get to gameplay. Remember how to play Turtles in Time? It's just like that. You press X until you're bored, then press X until you're even more bored. You can get through most of the game by pressing nothing but X. The boss fights are a bit more complicated, but you get my point. Onechanbarberchair seems like the kind of game where you can really open up on a crowd with massive combos, but it doesn't. The enemies are piss easy. They don't go down easy (they're zombies by the way), but they don't necessarily attack you with great urgency either. So, you spend most of the game hacking through legions of the undead. Sounds like fun. Should be fun. Just not fun. Onechewbaca has one interesting feature. The women absorb the zombie blood into their skin. When they absorb enough, they transform into crazy bitches that are faster and deal more damage. In this mode though, it drains your health. Most people cry that it's the stupidest power-up ever, but I have to disagree on that because it's not a power-up. The one thing I did understand from the story is that their blood is curse, so when you transform, you're not technically powering up; you're cursed. It was (I'm guessing) designed to be something you wanted to avoid, and I can respect that thought process to a point.

This is why we don't free Willy

My biggest problem with the game isn't the combat. It's the fact that YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO! Onechansformers fails at telling you what you need to know. I can't understand why there's no tutorial. Even the instruction manual doesn't tell you shit, except the button layout. I found out there's an inventory screen by accident. I was trying to hit the big button to bring up the dashboard, and I hit the back button instead. Isn't that something that should have been brought to my attention earlier. Good luck finding your way around because the game doesn't tell you where you need to go. It has a map, but it doesn't tell you where your next objective is unless you're in the same area. I hope you enjoy walking around in circles because you will be walking around in circles because you will be walking around in circles because you will be walking around in cirlces because you will be walking around in circles because you will be walking around in circles because you will be....FUCK!

This game also has a dress-up mode, which panders to the perverts who make up the target demographic. So, if your favorite girl isn't slutty enough, you can change that. You have to unlock the clothes by playing through story mode first, though. It also has 2-player split screen which a lot of games don't have anymore. I decided to try in out with Neil. Neil, what do you think?

[Neil]: I fuckin hate this game.

Good point Neil.

[Neil]: The fuckin graphics look like my PS2, the fuckin camera is too damn close to the girl, AND WHY THE FUCK IS MY SWORD STUCK IN THIS GUYS TORSO!?

Oh yea, in Onecharboiled, your sword will collect blood on it. When the sword has too much blood on it, it can get stuck in someone. You have to remember to periodically clean your sword, or else...

[Neil]: GOD DAMN LOADING TIME! The graphics look like shit, and the background isn't even detailed much, so why the fuck DOES IT HAVE TO LOAD ALL THE DAMN TIME!? GTA4 doesn't load unless you do a mission. Gears of War barely loads at all. Those games look 3 times better than this, SO WHY DOES THIS ONE HAVE TO LOAD!? AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

See, Neil isn't used to playing shitty games, so he can't handle it like I can.

A vampire's buffet

Onechatroom probably should have stayed over in Japan because there's no love for it here. You can't even find this game used because nobody would buy it (except my dumbass). With that said, it's nowhere near the worst game for the Xbox360. I can't even really give it the red rings of death rating.

Rating: Ass (Sexy ass, but ass nonetheless)

So here's the order of which these games are awful from bad to worse:

Ocechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad
Sonic Unleashed
X-Blades
Pimp My Ride
Bomberman: Act Zero
Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

We still have a few games to go, including one blue rodent who's making his second appearance on this list.

NOTE: The cowboy hat and bikini combo is so last year.

Pimp My Ride (W)

Hi, Kevin J. from wherever the fuck I wanna be, and THIS IS MY GAME!

So I boot the game up, and it ask me who's car I wanna pimp first. When I pick the car, I don't immediately go to the person house to pick up their car. Instead, I have to drive around and earn enough money. You earn money by hitting traffic and playing boring mini-games, and to my knowledge, there's only 2. You can also earn money by getting collectibles, but it's a waste of time. You're better off just hitting other cars, which you'll do a lot because the controls are so bad. these are the worst driving controls I've ever played for the Xbox 360. Once I earned the money, I go to the person's house, and I have a time limit on getting there, which is fuckin retarded. Once I pick up the car, the map shows all the shops I can visit to hook this car up. Again there's a time limit, so you have to get to as many spots as possible. There's also a rival pimping out the same car, and your car has to look better than his or her. When time is up, the person see's the cars, and picks which one he/she likes. If you lose, you start over. If you win, you repeat the process with someone else. That's the game. That's not even in a nutshell; that's the game! All of it!

So please 10 Rules of Gaming, PIMP MY GAME!

I'm 'bout to pimp his game. Let's go!

[knock kmock]
Is that my door?
[Xzibit]: Yo Kev man, I'm hhere to pimp your game.
[Kevin]: OOOOOH SHIT! YEA! YEA! YEA! X TO THE Z! OH SHIT!

[Xzibit]: So this the game huh?
[Kevin]: Yea. I got it for $10. I thought it was a deal.
[Xzibit]: I hate to tell you this, but I think you got dealt shit.
[Kevin]: Yea, it happens.
[Xzibit]: I'm trying to drive, but I can't stop swerving. God damn. What's up with this?
[Kevin]: The controls are bad, man. The fuckin thing won't drive straight.
[Xzibit]: Oh ok, I thought it was just me, like what the fuck am I doing wrong. So I see something on the corner of the screen. What's the money all about?
[Kevin]: That's the money you have to earn before you can pimp the car.
[Xzibit]: What the fuck? Why am I paying for it? The show is suppose to pay for it. Wow man; this some shit. How do I earn money?
[Kevin]: You're doing it right now. You get money when you hit traffic.
[Xzibit]: Oh, so that's what it is. I thought I owned them money. I guess driving all fcuked up has it advantages. You can be a millionaire if you play this drunk. Hahahahaha
[Kevin]: Wait till you get to pimp out the car.
[Xzibit]: Why; what happens?
[Kevin]: You have to get to all the garages under the time limit.
[Xzibit]: What? No West Coast Customs?
[Kevin]: No.
[Xzibit]: Gas?
[Kevin]: Nope.
[Xzibit]: ....ooooookay. Now, why do I have a time limit?
[Kevin]: You have to do a better job pimping the car than your rival.
[Xzibit]: RIVAL!?
[Kevin]: Yea.
[Xzibit]: Where the fuck did he get the same exact car? I thought the bitch only had one.
[Kevin]: I don't know, X
[Xzibit]: Well I've seen enough. If you had to rate this game, what would you give it?

Rating: Red Rings of Death

[Xzibit]: I couldn't agree more. Let's me get that disc. We bout to fix this pronto.

Let's leave our insurances out of this. Be cool

[Xzibit]: Ok Kev, when we got you game, it shouldof been called 'Strip My Ride' because it looked like someone stripped all the fun out of it, but the guys at 10 Rules did some work, and now you can be glad to have those achievement points attached to your gamerscore. Here it is: your brand new game!

OOOOOOOH SHIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! OH MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YES! YES! THANK YOU X! WHOO! WOO WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bomberman: Act Zero (W)

Wow. I can't remember the last time I've played a Bomberman game. I think it was back when I had the big gray brick known as the gameboy. Either way, Bomberman was one of the classic games, and up to this point, was remembered as one of the fun multiplayer games of the 8-bit era. Right around the 360 launch day, Konami decided to bring back Captain Blow Shit Up for a round of...well, blowing shit up, and why not? Well, like Turtles in Time, some games just can't age well. It's amazing how much this game sucks, and it's no wonder why everyone is crying foul. This is probably better as an Xboxlive arcade game, but I got it for 5 bucks, and I still want my money back.

It's hot. Are you hot? I feel hot.

The first thing you'll notice is that the character is gone. That's right: that cute and cuddly pyromaniac is nowhere to be found. Instead, he's been replaced with what I can only assume is a future NFL player (the green glowing parts are clearly steroids). Rule #1 when bringing back a beloved franchise: DON'T fuck with the main character. As for the gameplay....well...it's Bomberman. What did you expect? You drop some bombs and hope somebody dies. Well, there is some strategy involved, but I never seemed to need it. There's really no change in gameplay whatsoever. If you don't know how Bomberman is played, wow (where have you been?). There are some changes. Besides the standard mode, there's a FPB mode, and I have no fuckin clue what FPB means. Anyway, the camera is closer to you, and instead of one-hit kills, you have a life bar. The camera makes it so fuck impossible to see shit, it's no wonder you have a life bar, but even then it's bullshit. Well, that's it for the changes....yea. Both modes have 99 stages that you can try to plow through, but there are no continues. Once you die, you go all the way back to the beginning. So if you bite it on level 98, tough shit. Cry me a river, bitch; you're going back to the beginning. I thought we left that shit behind when memory cards were invented. As for online mode, nobody's playing, so I can't even review it. There's no local multiplayer or system link option either, so I was forced to play this shit alone. This is grade A fuck.

Stop, drop, and roll won't save you here

Yea...that's it. That's the game. Imagine buying this when it first came out for 60 big ones. I heard some stores were accepting returns because it was so bad, though that may have been just a rumor. I wish I could send mine back. In fact, I want the time I spent playing back, dammit! This barely registers as a game. You can find the same exact shit online as a flash game (look it up). Avoid at all cost!

Rating: Red Rings of Death

Amazingly, this game is a step above Leisure Suit Larry, so it's not the worst game on the 360. Larry, it's not looking good for you. Here's the order from bad to worse.

Sonic Unleashed
X-Blades
Bomberman: Act Zero
Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

We got more games to look up so it's not over yet, though I wish it was.

NOTE: Xboxlive Arcade games don't count, so don't ask.

Madden 10 vs NFL 2K5

In an interview with Game Informer magazine, the staff at Tiburon admitted that this year's Madden was an effort to finally get people to shut up about 2K5. Well, Madden 10 is, and people are still talking. A lot of people still don't believe Madden has caught up with the game that has somehow become legendary. It's time for an impartial voice to make a judgment here. Let's dissect both games to see if 2K5 is still on top, or if Madden if finally worthy of sole possession of the NFL license.

Gameplay:
I think it's safe to say that Madden 10 has surpassed 2K5 in gameplay, but there are still some annoyances in Madden I didn't have in 2K5. The fact that receivers can STILL do superman moves to intercept the ball still pisses me off. In Madden 10, the defenders now don't make a play on the ball unless they see it, but when they do, it's back to cheap picks. Despite this, Madden still beats out 2K5. Why? Because 2k5 is 5 years old. The gameplay (while still good) is stale by today's standards. Have you played APF 2K8? It uses the exact same gameplay. It was good, but not good enough. Besides, Madden's hit stick kicks ass!

Online:
Madden has online franchise mode...enough said

Presentation:
It's here's where 2K5 has always outshined Madden, and why people keep talking about it. 2K5 made you feel like you were actually watching a football game. After 5 years, Madden finally, FINALLY, put some work in on presentation. so, is it better than 2K5? No. Not by a long shot. It's sad really. First of all, Madden doesn't make use of the ESPN license. It's always the extremely fake EA Sports network. Why have the license if you're not going to fuckin use it? 2K5 was so ESPN up the ass, you thought the game was made by ESPN themselves. The halftime show in Madden is a fuckin joke. The woman in the booth barely says anything at, and when she does, it sounds so broken. There's also no postgame show like 2K5. Madden's franchise mode has a weekly show that gives you information on what's going on around the league. Nice, but the host's voice still sounds broken. 2K5 did it too, and Chris Berman's voice sounded a little better, but didn't provide as much info. Still, it was 2004, so it was excusable. As for on the field, 2K5 barely beats Madden out. Madden has added some new shots why playing. You see things like the coach yelling at the players on the sidelines, the kicker warming up, and other stuff that you would see on Sunday. 2K5 had that, but not nearly as impressive. The announce team in Madden isn't as good as the team on 2K5, which is weird because last year's Madden was so impressive with the commentary. It's the same team this year, so I don't see how it got worse. 2K5's team may not be famous figures like Madden, but that allowed for more time in the booth, which in turn gives the listener more lines to hear. There are 2 things 2K5 have that Madden don't. First off, at the end of the game, there are player interviews. It was cool to see a mic by a player's face and have them talk about the game. In Madden defense, leagues no longer want game companies to do that because it puts words in player's mouth. The second thing is the crib. I don't know why 2K games no longer have it; it kicked ass. I have spent more time playing 2K5 than all the Maddens combined simply because of the crib. As you played games, you earned money that can be used to buy stuff for your crib like a dart machine, air hockey table, furniture, TVs, etc. By the time I was done playing 2K5, my crib was the shit. I feel like playing it now just to hook up the crib again. If you had the Xbox version, you could play your music on the jukebox in the crib. It didn't seem important at first, but it adds a nice touch when you walk in your crib, and your music is playing.

Verdict:
Madden 10 is better than NFL 2K5. 2K5 was a great game, but it's old now. It's gameplay just isn't up to snuff with Madden. In fact, I'm pretty sure everybody knows that. It's the presentation that got it so much admiration. You see what happens when you present yourself well? Madden 11 needs to forget about gameplay changes for one year, and work on presentation if it wants to erase 2K5 off the map for good. Well, I wouldn't say that. People are still pretty pissed that EA monopolized the NFL license. That's why some people hold 2K5 so close to their hearts. At least they'll admit Madden 11 is better.

Batman First Impressions

With the demo out, a lot of people wanna know how I feel about the new Batman game. I don't want to go too in depth about it since I'll be doing a review soon, but I came away impressed. The combat was fluid and fits the style of Batman. The tone the game sets is dark and gritty, as dead bodies lined the hallways. This is a T rating game, so don't expect any blood. The stealth element is well done, and I enjoyed taking out enemies without being noticed. The funny thing is, I don't really like stealth games. Normally I wouldn't read too much into a demo, but we may finally have a good Batman game. Now if only Superman would get his shit in gear.

Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust (W)

With the release of Madden 10, the Batman demo which took all fuckin night to download, working on the other blog, and playing other games that'll eventually show up on this blog, you can understand why I couldn't finish this fucker, which is a royal piece of shit. Seriously, it's like they tried to make a piece of shit, and did a shitty job at it. I can't believe it; I really can't believe it, but I finally found a game worse than X-Blades. For some of you who are knowledgeable about the series, you might have noticed something missing in the title. The 'W' is there, but there should be something else. I'll get to that later.

.....Boobs...

Right off the bat, hell even in the batter's box, things go bad when I finally get a chance to move the character around. In the tutorial mission, you're shown how the platforming works, and as I try to get to my goal for maybe a half a fuckin hour, I threw my controller down and turned off my system off. The point I'm trying to make is that THE CONTROLS ARE FUCKIN HORRIBLE! Larry moves like he has a pipe bomb up his ass, and the pipe bomb has a grenade (without the pin) stuck up its ass, and any moment an explosion can cause one hell of an anal evacuation. Not only is his movement awkward and stiff, he's so damn slow, even when he's in full sprint. Now, how am I suppose to jump from platform to platform with bad controls like this? Of course, there are other means to get around. You get to grab vehicles to get around, but dammit they're even worse to control. To top it all off, there was a shooting portion of the game, and it could not be handled any worse. I had to turn it off (again), and put in Call of Duty to remind me what a good shooter is like. I threw my control down so many times in disgust, and right now, I would like to take the time out to apologize to my 360 controller (it's not your fault).

....Boobs...

Here's what you do in the game: go from point A to point B. That's pretty much it. There's some platforming or minigame throw in here and there, but that's mostly what you do. This...is not...fuckin...GAMEPLAY! If I wanted to do nothing but walk around all damn day, I would just play Second Life on my computer. At least in that shit I can have digital sex, although I'm pretty sure the women are actually men. I can hear some of the gears turning in the gamers head about that sex comment. Again, I'll get to that. Anyway, it seems like my sole purpose in this game is to guide Larry to the next cutscene. Although they're nowhere near as long, just the sheer amount of cutscenes can rival any game, even RPGs (maybe even Metal Gear Solid....just kidding). Jesus Christ, I've never been so bored walking in my life. I don't know what the developers were thinking. The funny thing is, the game is very self aware that it sucks, and Larry makes comments based on the suckiness. In one mission, he said "I better hurry up or this may start to feel repetitive." I may have fucked up the quote, but my point is that statement means that this game was designed to be repetitive, which leads me to believe that the developers purposely made a shitty game. I guess the joke's on me for playing it, right? If there's one good thing I can say about this game is that the gaphics look sharp. They're nowhere near the best we've seen for the 360, but it fits the setting. Of course, I'm not that into graphics like that, so it's like complimenting a dog turd on its formation. Who fuckin cares?

....Boobs...

So...what's missing? Well, if you know anything about the Leisure Suit Larry series, you know it's famous for its gratuitous sex. A Larry game should get the 'STS' stamp (meaning sex to sell), but this one doesn't. It has sexy women, plenty of innuendo, and even some raunchy scenes, but these seem to be treated as a formality rather than a selling point. It feels like any reference to sex is there simply because it's a Leisure Suit Larry game. Oh, and there's no nudity. Oh, I'm sure that's gonna piss a lot of Larry fans out there. Now, I can understand why they wouldn't want nudity in the game. Home consoles have a strong stance against strong sexually graphic material, and you really can't go too far. Look at what happened to San Andreas. That doesn't mean sex couldn't be in the game, at least I don't think. In 2005, I've played LSL: Magna Cum Laude for the Xbox, PS2, and PC (to see the differences), and the Xbox version had sex scenes in them (censored of course). So, why did they not do it here? I don't know. Now, I could care less if the girls are naked or not (although I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious); I just wanted it to be funny like the last game. Sadly, the comedy is gone too. Comedy is more important to the series than the sex, and if you don't have that, you don't have a LSL game. I'm not saying they ditched the jokes. They tried so hard to be funny, and that's the problem. If you have to try to be funny, then don't! It was like watching a comic crash and burn onstage. It was painful to watch, and even more painful to listen. In the last game, the gameplay was bad too, but the jokes were so funny that you suffered through it to hear some more. There were also tits, but that's besides the point. Without the jokes, there's no reason to plow through this game, which I didn't. I gave up midway through because I think I developed Super Cancer in the process.

I'm noticing a reoccurring theme here

Dude, I can't even give you a decent closing paragraph about this. It's bad; really bad. If you're a fan of the series, you now know what Sonic fans are going through (we feel your pain). That's out of the way, but the torture isn't over yet. We still got plenty of bad games to go through, including a Sonic game that has the nerve of being a downloadable on the Xboxlive marketplace (OH HELL NO!). Mark my words, we will find the worst Xbox 360 game. As for this game...

Rating: Red Rings of Death

NOTE: All the pics were from the PC version. I guess nobody wanted to get screenshots of the 360 because it means they would have to play it.

Sonic Unleashed Re-post (W)

To start off my agonizing search for the worst game of Xbox360, I look at a game I've already reviewed, and sadly, it's a Sonic game. Since my thoughts are the same now as they were then, I decided to re-post the review for the sake of retrospect (and laziness). The original plan was to do Leisure Suit Larry, but I thought it would be best to get the ball rolling with this game before I review Larry. It will be my next entry, assuming I finish it soon. For those wondering, I'll do the other Sonic game, too. Well, let's get to it. Sorry for the lack of pictures. Blogspot is being a dick.


Sigh* Being a Sonic fan, I'm really not looking forward to writing this one. After playing good game after good game I was bound to run into shit eventually; ironic since a 3rd of the game is about running. This was another friend request so I had to do it, but now I'm wondering why I take requests at all. Months ago I played the Wii version and was mildly entertained, so I figured I'd like something about this version. I did find something, but it's not worth all the bullshit you have to go through to get to the good bits, especially since instead of this crap I could be playing Street Fighter 4 (Seth is cheap as hell!) or GTA4: the lost and the Damned. Oh well, let's talk shittiness.

Normally this is where I relay the plot of the game, but this is a Sonic game. It start with Robotnick (I refuse to fuckin call him Eggman) doing something retarded and ends with SuperSonic saving the day. When the beginning and end are always the same, the plot in between becomes redundant. HEY SONIC TEAM! How about giving Robotnick a break and bring out something or someone new for a change? I won't even explain how he became a werehog because it's just not worth going into.

And don't get me started on the voice acting. Somebody tell sonic team there's a difference between family game and kiddy game. If you want to make a game for the whole family, you don't write dialog that's too kiddy even for seseame street! I swear to God I wanted to kill those fuckin rodents every time they opened their mouths. Tails is supposed to sound like a little boy, but sounds like a very small woman instead. Amy's still a bitch who provides absolutely nothing (which is why Sonic wants nothing to do with her....smart boy). Robotnick is the stereotypical bad guy with the cheezy evil laugh. Chip...well he....ummm....well let me put it this way. Everything about him makes me want to crack the game in half and slit my own throat with the broken pieces. The only tolerable acting is Sonic, and he's not that good to begin with. OH, and you can't skip the cutscenes.

Now, remember when I said running is 1/3 of the game? For those of you who are paying attention, you probably realized that something is wrong since Sonic is known for FUCKIN RUNNING (RIGHT SONIC TEAM?)! Well when you do run, it's the most fun you'll every have with any 3D Sonic game. The controls and camera finally fit a Sonic game, and track design are awesome. My only gripe is that it's almost impossible to complete a stage on the first run. Sonic runs so fast that you won't know you were supposed to move or jump until you fail and die. Which brings up a point: Why do they still have lives? Lives are obselete.

To get to the running though, you have to go through the other 2/3 of shit the developers shoveled in for some reason. First let's start with the hub world. Its soooooo fucking useless, but they make you go through it. I can't even describe all the stuff you have to do, but know this: In order to move on to the next stage, you have to have a certain number of coins to open the door. If you don't, that means backtracking through previously beaten levels. What a lame way to lengthen gameplay (yes, I said lame). Then there are the nighttime werehog levels. Initially you think "well this aint too bad" but then it feels so boring after 2 levels. The level design sucks and the combat (while fun to see what combos Sonic has) is extremely easy. There's no attack patterns to learn, no real change in enemies, or any real reason why not to press the Y button over and over to quickly end the fight. In the end, it's a pointless gimmick there to appeal to........you know what, I have no idea who this appeals to.

So how can I absolutely hate the Xbox360 version but find the Wii version mildly entertaining? Well let's start with the hub world. In the 360 version, you're forced to do stuff and collect coins; on the Wii there is no real hub world and the doors open almost automatically. Basically 1/3 of the game is cut out of the Wii version. Also the nighttime levels are cut into 5 minute stages and have less enemies to fight. On the 360, levels can take up to 30 minutes, you can't save in the level, and you have to look for coins throughout to open doors later. Lastly, the Wii version doesn't take forever to beat. Yea the daytime levels aren't as fast as the 360, but at least they're feasible to beat on the first try (except Eggmanland....Son of a Bitch!).

I'm not suggesting you get either version of this game, but if you're a big Sonic fan, then go for the Wii version if you own one. For the XBOX heads out there, stay away! If someone puts this game in your Xbox360, call the police because you just got raped (or something similar to that).
I'm not ready to end the Sonic franchise; maybe it just needs a new developer because Sonic Team obviously can only create shit.

Rating: Red Rings of Death

We know it's terrible, but is it the worst? No. Like I said, the running stages are very fun, and if it was just that shit, we wouldn't be having this discussion. In fact, I think I would still play this over X-Blades, but maybe that's just my fandom talking. Can there be something worse? I think our next game can be. Leisure Suit Larry, I'm hoping you disappoint.

NOTE: Isn't it funny how the better version was co-develop by Dimps, and Sonic Team fully developed the shitty version? Kinda supports my new developer theory, don't it? Isn't it also funny that I'm entirely too lazy to do another post?

TMNT: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled (XBLA, PSN)

On August 5th, at exactly 10:42 pm, I downloaded Turtles in Time. On August 6th, at exactly 12:37 am, I fuckin finished it. I spent the next 4 days pondering whether or not I should even do this review, but since this is insanely popular, I have to bash it. It's the American way. If you haven't played the original game, then this review means nothing to you because you weren't going to buy it anyway unless you're a TMNT fan. For those who have, this game bought back a lot of memories I had at my cousin's house. We would played for hours overheating the SNES trying desperately to beat it, but to no avail, until he got a game genie (who remembers that?). When I heard that there were to be a remake for the Xboxlive Arcade, I was generally excited, and after playing the game repeating, I can honestly say...I WANT MY FUCKIN MONEY BACK! It's not that Ubisoft did anything wrong with recreating a game that was good, but it WAS good, and what was good then isn't exactly good now. TMNT: TIT (HA! I love acronyms) did not age well, and my boredom is the proof.

For all the TIT (HA!) fans out there, it should be noted that this game is a recreation of the arcade version, not the SNES version, so you will recognize some differences if you didn't play the arcade version. The Technodrome stage that followed the sewer surfing segment is gone. That stage was an SNES exclusive. In fact, the boss in the sewer surfing stage (Rat King I believe) is also gone. Once you get to the end of the stage, Shedder sends you to Prehistoric Turtlesaurus. At the end of Prehistoric Turtlesaurus, you fight Cement Man, not Slash. At the end of Skull and Crossbones (the pirate ship), you don't fight Bebop and Rocksteady. Instead, you fight Tokka and Rahkar, who were in the left out Technodrome stage. Once you get to the final boss, you don't face Super Shedder; you face Shedder in his normal form. Why Ubisoft chose the arcade version over the SNES is a mystery to me, especially since the SNES version is the one most gamers identify with when talking about TIT (HA!). The only reason I can think of is that the SNES version is licensed by Nintendo, and Nintendo didn't want their version of the game to be released for their competitors. If that's the fact, Nintedo you greedy bastards.

Smack!

This is how you play TIT (HA!): You walk right, you press attack a lot, you walk right, you press attack a lot, a boss appears, you press attack a lot, and you turn off the game. All you do is press attack, and it's the same combo throughout the whole game. That was fun back in 1991, but in today games, we need more complicated moves. I mean, it's so simple, it makes it so hard to even review it. Unlike the original game, you can attack in 8 directions instead of only left and right, which makes thing a lot easier give or take your level of difficulty. Instead of having 2 turtles, you can now have 4 player co-op with all the turtles. The graphics have also been beefed up to match modern day standards. Everything else has been faithfully recreated, for better or worse (mostly worse). You also get unlimited continues, which makes sense since you can't feed quarters into your system. That would be weird if your 360 said you need more quarters to play. And where would the quarters go when the machine got full? If they disappeared, I would run my fuckin ass out of there. I'd probably shit myself too. Like you wouldn't. I played it once with another person, and it was slightly more entertaining. I didn't play with 3 other people, but I think having all 4 turtles on the screen would turn things into a clusterfuck. How would you be able to tell who's who. Like I said, I didn't play it like that, so I can't really comment yet. All the traps and bosses are cheap as hell and will drain your health fast. This was an arcade game after all. They were design to eat quarters with punishing difficulty, but still, not being able to avoid some of these attacks are fuckin annoying.

If you can't beat them, twirl

You will die. You will die a lot. You will die at least once per stage. Despite doing nothing but pressing one button, I can't get over how fuckin hard TIT (HA!) can be. Now, I could have put it on an easier level, but that's not the game was supposed to be played. So I drank some Red Bull, coffee, Pepsi, and pure liquid caffeine, had a smoke, beat my chest, gird my loins, and put that son of a bitch on hardcore difficulty. It took 2 hours to finished it. I would have finished it sooner, but Tokka and Rahkar wouldn't fuckin DIE! And after all the pain I went through to get to the final boss, Shedder was a cakewalk. Then after you beat it, you're left with this "What should I do now?" feeling. All you can do is turn it off, and play a real game like.... X-Blades....AAAhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....haaaaaa sorry.

TIT (still funny) isn't worth it at all. Here's an idea: download a SNES emulator, download the game, and play it for free. Don't waste your $10 like me. To think, they were gonna charge $15 for it. This shit ain't worth $5.

Rating: ASS (to the 4th power)

NOTE: Ten Rules of Gaming does not condone the illegal use of emulators. To legally use one, you must own the system and the game you are playing, but hey, whatever you do on your computer is your own business. Enjoy your TIT.

Spotlight #2

WWE SMACKDOWN!

Once upon a time, the WWE license (known as WWF at the time) was owned by Acclaim, and they made sucky games. WCW vs. NWO (made by THQ for the N64) was a great game, which made the WWE games look like even bigger shits. The first chances WWE got, they jumped ship and signed with THQ, and the jump paid off. Wreslemania 2000 and No Mercy are consider 2 of the greatest games for the N64. Despite how great they were, W2000 was never ported to the PlayStation. Why? Because THQ was working on a PSX exclusive that would be nothing short of awesome: WWF Smackdown.

When Smackdown came out for the PlayStation, it offered something that no other wrestling game has offered before in such depth: backstage brawling. They didn't half-ass it like EA's WCW Mayhem (If you never heard of that game, you're doing alright; keep it up) and just put a couple of boxes and weapons in a empty room. These were fully detailed areas that interconnected with each other. For once there was a good reason to go backstage. THQ also boosted about it's season mode, but that was ho-hum. You basically went from week to week wrestling. That's basically it. The controls were complicated from their time and took a while for me to get, but once I did, I found the move list to be very deep, deeper than Wrestlemania 2000, and at the time that was saying something. THQ boosted about its season mode, but fans came for the backstage ass kicking, so when a second game was announced, it was time to shift focus.

Next best thing to sex (at the time)

Smackdown 2: Know Your Role came out with an even bigger experience than was thought possible on the humble (snicker*) PSX. It had more wrestlers, match types, moves, and weapons, but the main improvement that drove fans nuts were the backstage areas. THQ developer Yukes went crazy with the whole backstage concept and added a crazy amount of content. There were even set pieces you can throw your opponent into. If I remember correctly, you can irish whip your opponent into the stove in the kitchen, and the stove would blow up. To me, it was the coolest thing I have ever played on PlayStation. I honestly can't think of a better game for the system (fuck Metal Gear Solid). The season mode was more of the same, but now it was 2 player, so that made it more interesting. This was the last game to be released for the PSX, for Smackdown was getting ready to make its PS2 debut.

While being developed, THQ decided to drop the '3' in Smackdown 3 and call it Smackdown: Just Bring It, signifying that there would be a steady release of game, provided that the games sell, with they did. One of the big changes in Just Bring It, besides the better graphics on the PS2, was that this is the first wrestling game by THQ with commentary. Michael Cole and Tazz provided some much needed sound to the matches, but to be honest, it was very shitty. I really could have done without the commentary. I couldn't find that voice option fast enough. Season mode got a big overhaul in that it was only 3 mtaches. I wish I was fuckin kidding; it was only 3 mtaches. What the fuck were they thinking? They must have gotten lazy. Shit, they might as well just handed me the belt. And the load times....the less said the better. Just Bring It was the worst game in the series, but it was still fun. Again there were more moves, more wrestlers, different match types, and of course, more backstage areas. You could even go outside the arena and make it to WWF New York in Times Square. Does anybody remember that restaurant? Yea, anyway, increasing the backstage area was nice, but now they needed to do something besides add more areas. The next game, Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth adressed most of the problems in the game before it. Commentary was much better, and Season mode actually had storylines this time which spanned 2 years. Wrestling in the ring felt better as weapons really connected to the head of the opponents instead of just going through them like every other game before it except Wrestlemania 2000 and No Mercy. The backstage area has been slimmed down a bit, but no one really noticed nor cared because the overall package was such a great improvement. The next game, titled The Next Big Thing, pretty much improved on everything Shut Your Mouth did, plus more. It added the Elimination Chamber, Bra and Panties match, and location specific damage. There was an icon on the screen that showed which body parts were hurt (with red being the most damaged). This allowed players to focus on a body part and go for the submission later. It also took weight into consideration too. No longer can women pick up the Big Show, although weight didn't seemed to matter when doing finishers though. Again, the number of backstage areas decreased, but it was a small price to pay. The Smackdown series was soaring, but it was still time for a change.

I want contacts like those!

Maybe it was just me, but the title alone just signified change in the series. Obviously, this game pandered heavily to the feud between the two brands at the time when they decided that each show would have its own set of superstars, and that feud was made more apparent during the story mode. The 2 biggest (and much needed) additions to the game were online play (which I never used so I can't comment) and voice overs. Yes, besides commentary, you would hear the superstars themselves talk during story mode. As great as it was, it was weird to hear them talk and watch as their lips didn't match what they were saying. Everything was mostly good, but somehow backstage areas were pretty out on its ass. You could no longer go from the ring to various parts of the area. Now backstage was treated like matches, and there were only 2 if I remember correctly (parking lot brawl and bar room brawl). It pissed me off immensely as that was Smackdown's signature feature. How could they get rid of it!? Well, this had more to do with the WWE's culture rather than the developers. Wrestlers stopped dragging each other around the areas, and the game reflected that. Ah well. After Smackdown vs Raw, it was unclear where the developers would go after this. At E3 in 2005, they decided to officially treat the franchise like a sports title, and which that, keep the name. The franchise was no longer Smackdown; it was Smackdown vs Raw. Months later, Smackdown vs Raw 2006 came out for PS2 and for the first time on PSP. It was considered the best wrestling game ever made, and with good reason. The first major change was that you couldn't store 5 finishers. In the previous game, you would beat up your opponent to fill up a meter and earn a finisher. you can earn up to 5 of these, meaning you can do your finisher 5 times in a row. Because they were now going for realism, that was removed for a 2 finisher system. You had 2 options: store a finisher, or do it when the meter is full. The stored finisher did less damage than a full meter one, but it was good for getting out of deep shit. It also added a stamina system. The critics raved about it, but I didn't like it so I turned it off. The 2 most important feature of 2006 were the new story mode and GM mode. Story mode had better writing and the words being said actually matched the lips. GM mode basically let you run the show anyway you wanted (almost). You picked the matches, set up the contracts, manage the wrestlers, etc. Since this is a SvR, you had to compete with the GM from the other show to see who can get higher ratings. Fans have been asking for this mode for years, and when it finally showed, they shitted their pants in excitement. Smackdown vs Raw was a continuing success, but to the dismay of Sony fanboys, PlayStation would no longer be its exclusive home. It was time to hit the Box.

Welcome to the Xbox (I am Morpheus)

When the news hit that SvR 2007 would appear on the Xbox 360, everybody was stunned. Smackdown has been a PlayStation exclusive for so long, nobody thought it would come out for any other system. What was more surprising was that the PS3 didn't get a version of the game. There was one planned for the PS3 launch, but was delayed to December because the team had trouble programing it. It was delayed again til after the Christmas season until the developers decided to cancel the project altogether. Whatever. I had an Xbox 360 and a PS2 so I wasn't gonna miss out. Following the example of Fight Night (i.e. blatantly copying), SvR2007 changed their controls so now that grappling is done by the right stick. This kinda made things less complicated in terms of controls, and seemed more responsive. If you clicked on the right stick, you'll do what is called an ultimate control move. You move the right stick in the direction needed to do a move. So, to do a powerbomb, you would flick up on the stick to pick them up, and then flick down to slam them. It was a nice addition, but it had one major flaw: it was irreversible. Once it was activated, there was no way out. Players online would spam these moves until they won. Also, there were now environmental attacks. Drag your opponent to a certain spot, and you can use it to your advantage. Slamming a guys head into the steps never gets old. Doing this drained your stamina, so you couldn't do it too much. Season mode had branching storylines, and GM mode was improved. All in all, it was a great debut for the 360.

SvR2008 came out the next year, and it really didn't do much different. Ultimate control moves could now be reversed which was a definite plus. Fighting styles were introduced in this game, but the idea sucked, so they got rid of it in the next game. It did introduced my new favorite match type: ECW extreme rules match. It was essentually a hardcore match but with elements that reminds me of the classic ECW like crowd participation. Also, when you went under the ring, you could select exactly what weapon you wanted. Sweet. Story mode and GM mode was converged into one mode called 24/7 mode. Now you can manage your superstar while going through a story. If you pick a GM, then it's basically GM mode. The problem with this is that after one year, the story repeats itself, and you definitely don't want to hear the same shit over and over again. 24/7 mode sucked balls. SvR2009 thankfully ditched that mode and created 6 character - specific stories for you to play through. This is how it should always be done for now on. There's also a career mode with works like a downgraded 24/7 mode, except more fun to play. Sadly, playing through this mode is the only way to level up your created player. Sucks. The biggest focus for 2009 was the tag team matches. Now tag team have only one bar per team instead of everyone having their own bar. This makes sense since if your partner is getting his ass kicked, you're shouldn't be on the verge of having complete momentum. What you can do, however, is perform a hot tag. Every wrestling fan knows what this is. The guy crawls to his corner and tags the fresh man. He then comes in and clotheslines the first guy, hit the second, and then focus his attention on the first guy again. Do this successfully, and you will earn a special. My favorite improvement above all else is that the AI isn't as retarded as before. Your partner pretty much knows what to do in certain situations. If your getting your ass kicked, he'll started building up the meter for a hot tag. The opponents are a little more aggressive, but still plays chicken when you leave the ring. It's nice to see them finally getting the AI up to snuff. Just like GM mode (which was out on its ass in this game), fans have also been begging for a create a finisher mode, and this game finally brings it to the gamers. It's a little bare-bones, and most moves created looks like you're just putting tarnish on already established moves, but the base is there for them to build on. I can't wait to see what they do with it.

Get Jericho's theme right this time!

Ten games is a long time, but Smackdown continues to kick ass. The one thing I like about THQ and Yukes is that unlike most developers who makes a game on a yearly basis, I feel that they are the only ones who try every year. I swear 2K Sports seem to take a year off every once in a while, and Madden is just now getting their shit together. Smackdown tries something every year; sometimes it's a colossal failure, but I appriecate the effort. Anyway, I just wanted to shed some light on one of my favorite franchises in video games, especially since my first spotlight bash the living hell out of another one. Tune in next time. Wait, when is the next time, anyway? Hmmm. Ah well, keep reading til something pops up.

Which game is the worst?

I often hold X-Blades up as the standard of bad video game design, but is it the worst Xbox 360 game? Well, it's the worst I've ever played, but I think there are other games out there far worse. So what's the worst? That's what I'm gonna find out. I surfed the internet to find the worst reviewed games, and I will play them to see which one is definitely the worst. Whenever you see the (W) in the title, you know that's one of the game so as to not confuse it with any other games I might review. The first game on the list is Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust. Something tells me I'm gonna be crying when this is all over, not to mention the fact my hall of shame will explode with entries.

The Left 4 Dead 2 Petition

Left 4 Dead owners were promised new content to be regularly released by Valve. Soon after, Valve announced the sequel will be released this fall, one year after the original. This pissed off some people and now there's a petition to stop the release of the game. So far, roughly 40,000 people signed it. Apparently, they feel that this game coming out so soon means that the developers abandoned the first game and won't fulfill on their promised to release content for it, and even if they did, it wouldn't matter because gamers would buy the second game and ignore the first, killing the first game's online community. Despite the fact that these angry gamers make some good points, I am completely against them on this one.

The first point I like to make is that IT'S JUST A STUPID FUCKIN GAME! I'm assuming these people (although I'm probably wrong) have more important things to worry about in life. I love games. I love logging on to this blog to talk about games, but neither are a top priority in my life. If I'm struggling with work and school and have no time for the Xbox, I'm not gonna sacrifice either to make time. Basically, I'm saying I have a life outside gaming, but it sounds like these crybabies don't. I bet most of the people who signed it just did for the hell of it. They'll probably buy L4D2 the first day. It's like how people complain about how Madden never changes each year, yet it's still in their living rooms. By the way, an online petition? Really? You think EA Games gives a chocolate coated glitter sprinkling flying fuck about an online petition?

If you're mad that you think Valve lied to you, then you obviously never dealt with a salesperson before. Besides, why would you believe what some guy you don't know says to you anyway? Quite frankly, Valve doesn't owe these people anything. They don't have to make downloadable stuff. I know that's usually their thing to keep expanding on old games, but how quickly did these people forget that the game is published by EA, and EA is the video game conpany equivelant to Darth Vader (or maybe Dick Cheney). Besides, it's not a good idea to buy a game because you think downloadable content is coming. Both Mortal Kombat and Mass Effect didn't coming through with their promises, but you don't hear fans bitching about it. Hell, I've been waiting 3 years for Mass Effect to come out with more than just one download. This is why you pay for what you're getting right away, not for what may come down the line. If you bought L4D because you weren't satisfied with the four short campaigns, but heard there will be more, you're a sucker. That like buying a car in Arizona with the promise of an air conditioner to be installed on a later date.

The final point I have to make is that none of these people have played the game, so they have no idea what's in it to make these claims. All they saw were videos of it at E3, and does that really tell us anything? Gamers, remember when we saw videos for Sonic Unleashed? It seemed like Sonic was once again the shit, but it turns out to be shit. Remember Superman Returns? That game seemed like they finally got Superman right, and it did, but ultimately suffered from being rushed, and therefore the missions sucked, but that a review for another time (wink*). My point is videos don't do shit but stir up hype. It's not until you get your hands on a controller do you know what a game is really about. Granted, the game will probably be more of the same, but still......

This petition isn't gonna do shit. This isn't really a controversy if you ask me. This is a bunch of people whining because they want extra stuff. Instead of trying to stop the release of the sequel, why not just playing altogether? They won't do that. They love their precious game too much. It baffles me how they can feel like they've been cockslapped across the lips, but still support the game by playing it. I don't know, man. Maybe I'm missing something here. Maybe I'm just completely wrong about my whole assessment of the situation. Well, all I know is this: I didn't buy Left 4 Dead, and I don't feel cheated at all. HA!