Everybody knows Street Fighter, but bring up the words "third strike' and it will over ring a bell to a select few. 3rd Strike is the third and final game in the Street Fighter 3 series, and is hailed by many fight fans as the greatest SF game ever made. Yes, even better than SF4 or Super SF4. I myself disagree because I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that the greatest SF game ever is......Mortal Kombat Trilogy. Stupidly wrong game series aside, I would like to thank 3rd Strike for making me look for another Dreamcast controller after breaking mine old one out of frustration. In other words, this bitch is hard. Even on the lowest difficulty setting, I got my ass handed to me repeatedly. This game demands that only the best play. Now, I'm not great (or...good), but I'm no newbie either, so with a game kicking my ass on the easiest level, needless to say my ego took a hit. But you know what, maybe if they didn't replace almost the entire roster, I would have stood a better chance. Only Ken, Ryu, Chun-li, and Akuma made the cut. The rest were all new fighters. Besides being on 2 consoles that nobody cared about (Xbox didn't really gain popularity till 2003), the fact that nobody knew who the fighters were prevented 3rd Strike from selling among the casual fight fan. When it came out, I don't remember anybody really talking about it. It just didn't seem like Street Fighter anymore. Real fans weren't swayed though. They knew they had a badass game in their hands and they spent hours practicing with new people because they enjoyed the challenge of learning how to play all over again. Today, Street Fighter 4 brought 2D fighters back from the grave almost, and casual fight fans are loving every moment of it. Hardcore fans however, despite loving SF4, will always pop in 3rd Strike repeatedly kick each other asses or get their asses handed to them by Gill. Yea...Gill.....meh; it's better than Seth. Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike: we salute you.
NOTE: Hell, I don't know if anything I said was true, but it sounded awesome right?
Huh, this is actually funny and completely unexpected. On the one hand, we have a game I expected to be a shit taco, but turned out to be a 5 layer beef burrito with nachos, cheese, and a sprite. Now that's a damn good meal. On the other hand, we have a game I expected to be filet mignon with a baked potato, but turned out to be chicken wings and french fries. It's still good but is in no way the gourmet meal you wanted. Transformers games has loyally followed the path of suck, and it's no doubt most people believe this would be no better, but hold your corny, overused Transformers jokes and metaphors; this one is actually good. If you were a fan of Crackdown 1 and couldn't wait to get your hands on Crackdown 2 and see what they would do to make the game better, then prepare to be disappointed because you will be playing Crackdown 1.
Transformers takes place on the mechanized planet of Cybertron. The Autobots and Decepticons have been fighting for eons apparently, and the game picks up right before the Transformers have to leave Cybertron for Earth. This game is pretty much the prequel to everything Transformers. For you fans, Optimus is not yet a Prime, Starscream is still an Autobot, and the Ark has not yet been built. Bumblebee still has his gay little name though, which sparks what I think is a very smart and legitimate question. Why is it that the name Bumblebee, a name given to a giant robot (although small compared to the others) that shoots lasers and shit, is generally accepted by the public in this context, but try that shit somewhere else and it's gay? I get it, he's small (again, compared to the others) and yellow, but c'mon. Everybody else gets cool robot names or names that match their vehicles, and he get Bumblebee. My favorite names are Ironhide and Barricade....don't know why. There was one other name I like, but I can't remember. Hmm...this is gonna bug me all day.
I would first like to say that I am NOT a Transformers fan. I love the concept (2 teams of robots that can change into vehicles beating the living metal out of each other), but I never actually followed the storyline of Transformers because I...well...I don't give a shit. I say this because fans tend to overstate how good or bad a product based on their beloved franchise is, and it's sometimes hard to tell whether you should take the words of the reviewer when he/she has their head shoved so far up the franchise's ass. So, from a non-fan to you, I say you should get this game. So crowded is the maketplace with cover based shooters that it's so refreshing to see a game that run-n-guns it. In fact, this game drives and guns it. Yes, it's a standard 3rd person shooter, but it's done so well what more could you want? Battles can get hectic as all hell, and some of the set pieces are just downright awesome. Some of the boss battles are pretty epic. You can transform anytime you want, and when you do, you hover over the ground allowing you to aim and shoot as if you're in robot form. Hold R2 or RT and your transformer drops its wheel (or fire up the thrusters if you're using a plane) and take off like a regular vehicle should. I like how you can hover in vehicle mode because if someone is just off to the side, you can't just simply turn around on wheel. My only 2 gripes about the single player is that its short and the graphics repeat themselves - both very minor complaints. A seasoned gamer can beat the game in 6-8 hours depending on how many times you die, and while that is short, I don't feel cheated by paying full price for this long of an experience. As for the repeat graphics, you'll notice that environments start to look alike. I know its a machine planet, and I can tell they tried their damnest to make each place look different, but that still doesn't change the fact. With that said, the average person probably won't give 2 shits about that, and nor should they.
Quick Note: This is only a review of single player as I couldn't do the multiplayer modes. My friends won't get this game and I refuse to play co-op games with people I don't know. I want the ability to bitchslap anyone who's being an asshole and I can't do that if I haven't (or can't) meet the person. I heard people rave about online, and competitively it's alright. It's nothing really special except the ability to transform, which is useful as all hell when getting your ass kicked. Without trying the co-op aspect though, it's best to leave multiplayer alone and not add it to the review.
One of the criticisms about Crackdown 1 is that it didn't have much of a story....or any at all. Hey agent, there are three gangs; go kick their asses. That's it. Somehow that feel a lot better than what we got here with number 2. It's 10 years after the events of Crackdown 1, and one of the gangs that was taken out was working on the T-virus apparently and it was spread throughout the city, turning citizens into freaks...known as freaks. The problem might have been fixed if not for some terrorist group call the Cell, who wants to keep the freak population around in order to get rid of the Agency because the Agency are power hungry dicks and this is "for the good of the city." Is it just me, or are terrorists normally retards? So not only is the story bad, but it almost completely disappears after the opening cinematic. There are audio logs, but fuck that. Most of them are hidden. Why the fuck do I have to LOOK for the story? The truth is, you don't because the story is donkey dick. Now that I think about it, Crackdown might be the only series that actually BENEFITS from not having a story. Do we really care why we're raising hell here? In other sandbox games, you need a story to give you a reason to go through the missions, otherwise you'd just fuck around all day. In Crackdown, all you do is fuck around, so what's the point? The terrorist group has released a virus that will....yea, yea that's great. Now get out of my way; I'm gonna throw this jeep.
In 2007, this gameplay was very original. Now, it's typical. For a game that started a lot of trends you see in sandbox games today, it does nothing new in the sequel, and that's not only a shame, that's bullshit. With that said, most of the problems stem from the fact that I'm comparing it to the original. If you never played Crackdown before, you're missing out on something awesome. You play as a superpower clone who's job is to clean up the streets of Pacific City with an assortment of kickass weaponry and abilities. When you begin, you start out more powerful than any human and most freaks, but you're abilities can be increased to insane levels, and that in itself is half the fun. Your upgradable stats are agility, strength, firearms, explosives, and driving. Upgrading firearms and driving unlocks new vehicles and weapons, which is fine and all, but unlocking vehicles seems pointless to me unless you really wanna unlock the tank, and when you've beefed your agent up, you won't want the tank. You'll probably just throw it. Strength not only increases your arm strength, but also your health. Agility increases your jumping height and explosives increases the blast radius of your grenades and boomsticks. How do you increase these stats? By fuckin around! Drive into enemies and do stunts increases you know what, punches and throwing stuff at enemies increases strength, making enemies go boom increases explosives, and guess how to increase firearms. Yep, hurting enemies in specific ways increases just about every stats...except agility. All around the city are green orbs that you collect to increase to increase your agility. This is probably the most addictive aspect of the game as you cannot say no to these damn orbs. I dare you to play the game and ignore one. You can't do it.
The missions are more varied than in the last game, but not as fun. You have to activate all the beacons in the city, but first you have to activate the absorbtion units first, then you can call for a beacon drop in which you have to protect it from the freaks. Once the beacon goes off, it kills the freaks in that area. Also, you have to take over Cell strongholds, which provides spawn points and drop points for items. In the first game, you kill the numerous gangs leaders....that's it. For some reason, that's more fun than Crackdown 2's formula. Why? Probably because it's simpler and there were more gang members to shoot. Also, Crackdown 2 is boring by yourself. This game needs to be played with friends...not a friend, but friends! Four people tearing ass all over Pacific City is as fun as it sounds.
While all this makes it sound different from the first game, it really REALLY isn't. This really is nothing more than a fuckin exspansion pack. Having the city mostly in ruins is unappealing, and the graphics seem worse than the first game. I can kinda understand since there are literately hundreds of freaks onscreen when they come out at night, and graphics might have to take a hit to make everything run smoothly, but you didn't have to destroy the city. Speaking of city, why are we back in the same city? Why couldn't we be in another city kicking gang ass? Melee combat is is stiff and unresponsive, which wasn't much of a problem in the first game, but why wasn't it improved? They could have at least programed stiff and unresponsive combos. What really pissed me off was the absence of transforming cars. In the first game, the Agency had vehicle that transformed based on your driving level, and it was cool to see a sports car turn into the freakin Batmobile as you drive off. Now they're gone. What the fuck happened!? It's the future; they should be transforming more! Sigh* Playing Crackdown 2 always just makes me want to play the original. The only 2 new additions (what few there are) that I love are the helicopters and the flight suit, both which could have simply been DLCs for the first game. When you max out your agility, you unlock your suit's ability to glide, and when you learn how to use it right, it's a lot of fun. Crackdown 2 does have competitive multiplayer, which once again could have been DLC. There's a standard deathmatch and Rocket Tag. Really? That's it? Okay, this is just proof that the developers got lazy. How fun would capture the flag be with a bunch of agents with flight suits? Rocket Tag is exactly how it sounds except instead of one guy with rockets trying to hit people, everybody has rockets aiming for the guy who's 'it'. You score points by staying 'it' as long as possible, kinda like oddball in Halo. You'd think a mode where everyone has rockets would be fun, but.......
I would recommend wholeheartedly Crackdown 2 if Crackdown 1 never existed. Unless you want 4 player co-op or are REALLY interested in Rocket Tag, pick up the first game. Seriously, it's like 12 bucks now. If you can't find it, then I guess you have no choice. Don't get me wrong, this game is fun, and I'm gonna give it a good rating, but it's a 3 year old game packaged as new. As for Transformers, I believe everybody should at least try it; you will be pleasantly surprised. I know it seems like a game for 10 year old kids (made more evident by the fact that the few games I played online had nothing but), but don't let that deter you from JETFIRE....that's the other name I like!
Transformers: War fro Cybertron Rating: Sweet
Crackdown 2 Rating: Sweet
NOTE: I've had like a month long writer's block that I'm just now getting over. It's a real pain in the ass.
I've been gone for a couple of week, and they're are some things I wanted to say, but didn't get the chance to. So here are all the things I wanted to talk about but didn't get a chance to.
Playstation Move:
I was originally Impressed by the Move, but as time passed i realized....it's a fuckin Wii. I guess if you can't beat 'em, steal. The product is basically the Wii-mote and nunchuck except wireless, and had a big glowing ball at the tip that may give your girlfriend the wrong idea. Oh, and instead of using Motion Plus, they use a camera to capture 1-1 movement. Now why in the world would I pay 100 bucks on a motion control dildo when for 200 you have an already established product? Also, you need to own a PS3, so that's $400 altogether. Luckily, they seem to be targeting people who already own PS3's, so that's a plus. Sure, it's more focused on the hardcore crowd unlike kinect, but that doesn't mean the games will be good. Besides, motion controls require moving, and real gamers don't exercise, which leads me to.........
Kinect:
Microsoft's demo for Kinect just feel like it gave the installed fanbase a cockslap to the teeth. Hey MS, I don't know if you know this, but the people you should be targeting are the people who already fuckin own 360s. Instead you're going to try steal some of Nintendo's bitches....I-I mean casual gaming Wii owners by making games mommy and daddy can play with little junior son of a bitch. For those of you would are fans of wrestling, the Wii is WWE and Kinect is TNA. Believe it or not, casual gamers are not as dumb as you think, as if they already have a Wii, they're NOT buying Kinect even if they do own a 360. As for us gamers, we bought a 360 because we wanted grown man games. We want games that are badass. We don't want to spend time with our families; that's why we have 360s. It's called 'Me Time'. Besides, a lot of 360 (and PS3) owners have a Wii to do exactly what you were displaying at E3.
I was right!:
Six days after that Mortal Kombat movie showed up on youtube, I made the post about where it came from and what was it's purpose. I did a lot of digging (kinda) and posted what I thought was the answer. Well, I WAS RIGHT BITCHES! Somebody needs to greenlight that movie pronto.
The Big 3:
So Lebron James and Chris Bosh will be joining Dwayne Wade in Miami. What does this have to do with video games? Every fuckin body will be picking them when you play your favorite basketball game. Ugh! I really hate this shit. You almost never face anyone different. It's always the 2 teams that went to the finals or the inanely popular team or the Lakers. It's like a fuckin sea of bandwagon jack-offs who don't really know any better. What's worse is if you are an actual fan or you found a team that fits your style, and your team goes to the finals (or in the case of the Heat pull off some bullshit free agent signings), you yourself will be annoyed to the point of kicking puppies as people pick the team you worked hard to know the ins and outs of. I was the shit in 2K7 with the Cavs mainly because everyone I played thought I would just jock with LeBron and I killed them with everybody else, especially with Larry Hughes, Daniel Gibson, and Shannon Brown. I'm dead serious; LeBron almost never made it to double digits. When I did use him, teams were fucked. I had learned the Cavs in and out. Then they went to finals, and in NBA 2K8, everybody was picking the Cavs! It pissed me off. Nobody wanted to play against me because either they wanted the Cavs or they were tired of playing against them. I got so pissed off, I said fuck the Cavs and used the Pheonix Suns. They were great, but it just wasn't the same. I say all this as a precautionary tale. Prepare to play the Heat over, and over, and over, and over, and over again until you go insane.
Remind me again to never do E3 coverage by myself again. I mean, I just did the bare minimum and I felt so tired afterward. Trying to sum up 4 days of coverage so that it stays a little bit interesting is not easy. Still, it was pretty awesome, and first the first time in a long time, I'm actually excited about the games to come, especially for the Wii of all systems. Now that I'm done with E3, I can finally get to playing games again. Sadly, the first game I played was Alpha Protocol, a game so broken I tried to return it to no avail. The game is filled with so many ideas, it could very be considered Mass Effect Jr., but it barely does anything right.
Let's get the combat out of the way: IT SUCKS! This action rpg doesn't really know how to pull off the action bits, and at this day and age how do you fuck it up? The AI is backwoods retarded and is incapable of pulling off the most simple tasks like lets say....shoot at you. During every firefight I've been in, someone suffering from a case of the dummies decides it's a good idea to run full speed at me right into the sights of my gun. Well gee thanks. For a minute there I thought I would have to TRY to you kill you. Speaking of guns, this and any other rpg that features guns that I've played (with the exception of Mass Effect 2 and Fallout 3) can't seem to do it right. I can understand leveling up your gun skills, but why does it affect the guns in general? You skills should not effect the damage points dealt. When I started using the assault rifle, it would take roughly 10 bullets to take down someone without body armor. That doesn't make any sense. Later in the game, after leveling up my rifle skills, I could take down heavily armored guys with 3 bullets. What the fuck!? Mind you, these are the bullets that hit. I'm not counting the ones that missed their target because my aim was shit. Also, I used the same rifle the whole game without using a single add-on. In Fallout 3, your level only affected your accuracy. A bullet to the forehead did the exact same damage no matter what level you were. Not so in this case. Also, what the fuck is up with headshots!? Headshots should fuckin kill, not do critical damage!! That fucker shouldn't be living anymore, let alone shooting at me! For example, I snuck into a base in order to plant a bug. When I needed to get by a patrol, I couldn't get in close to do a knife kill, so I decided to shoot the guy with my silenced pistol. After missing 7 fuckin shots, I managed to hit the guy in the back of the head. Did he die? No! He turned around, shot at me, and raised the alarm!! That's bullshit!!! Solid Snake is spinning in his grave right now. The pistol is fuckin useless in this game. It's never fuckin accurate, and you'd be an idiot to wanna level it up until it is, which leads to another problem. I can understand not being able to hit a guy's eyeball from a football field away, but if the guy you're playing as is supposed to be an elite operative, it shouldn't take a whole fuckin clip before I manage to graze his fuckin shoulder! The biggest fuckin tragedy - the one thing that send me over the edge - is how they treated the shotgun. Take all of the above problems and add the fact that it's a close range weapon, and you will have the biggest piece of bullshit in weapon history. Why, oh why, do I need to level up the shotgun!? IT'S A CLOSE RANGE WEAPON; ANYBODY CAN USE IT!!! It should be a fuckin gimmie! And that's not the worst part. When you are close to someone, IT TAKES 5 FUCKIN SHOTS TO DROP THEM! IT'S A SHOTGUN!!! IT'S DESIGN TO ONLY NEED ONE SHOT!!! HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP!! I can't take it anymore!
You also have the option of stealth in this game, and I noticed a lot of people seem to take that route. I guess it make sense because it makes you seem more like a super agent. I, on the other hand, went with the run 'n' gun tactic because I figured using stealth would work to my disadvantage, and I was right. There are some missions where stealth isn't an option, and you can't use stealth during boss fights. So if you sunk all your stat points on stealth, you're pretty much SOL when those moments come up. With that said, taking the stealth route makes the game a hellava lot easier because of the retard AI I mentioned earlier. Raise your stats up enough and you're pretty much invisible, granting you to ability to kill someone who is fuckin standing right next to his partner. There are also lockpicking and hacking minigames which are okay at first, but gets annoying as the game goes on.
You know, The more I think about Alpha Protocol, the more I noticed the similarities between it and Mass Effect 1, problems and all. So what makes this a steaming pile of shit while Mass Effect is a marvelous game that should be played. Well, they don't fuck up the action so badly, but most importantly, Mass Effect has a rich and engaging universe. The main story was excellent, everyone had an interesting backstory which fleshed out their character, every place you visited had it's own story, and every conversation you had only added more to an already deep universe. The game made you care about everything you did and every decision you made. Alpha Protocol fails to do that. Everyone is dull, nobody feels important, and the overall plot, which is not bad, only feels like an excuse to go shoot somebody. Even your character, Michael Thornton, feels incredibly bland and uninteresting. You could pin that on me because of the choices I've made, but that doesn't excuse the rest of the cast. Some relationships aren't even built right. In one mission, I had to choose between saving a woman and stopping a bomb from going off. Well gee, seeing as how I met the woman only 2 hours ago and haven't established any real connection with her, it's not really that hard of a decision is it? Now point me to the bomb before I shoot you with my completely inaccurate gun. Speaking of choices, that seems to be the only thing this game does right. This is the first game that delivers on the promise that everything you do does have a consequence. Sometimes this means pissing off someone you could have potentially helped you or causing a base to add more security. Not every decision is that dramatic, but you won't know that at the time, forcing you to really think about what you wanna do. When in a conversation with somebody, you only have about a second to answer, and when you need important information (or when there's a gun to your face) you have to come up with the right answers. Conversations are also used to build relationships with people that can help (or hurt) you later on. Once those words fly out your mouth though, that's it. No do-overs. You're stuck with whatever decision you made....unless of course you go to the dashboard on your 360 or PS3. PC owners, you're SOL. They did screw up on one aspect. When talking to someone, the conversation wheel (the display that lets you choose your options) doesn't clearly let you know what you're gonna say. The options usually tell you HOW you are going to say it, not what you're going to say. You'll get options like professional, suave, aggressive, and shit like that, but with only a second to respond, sometimes you'll pick an option only to find out it means the opposite of what you meant. Damn, time to go back to the dashboard.
I'm in the closing paragraph and it just occurred to me that I didn't even explain the story. Well, you're a new member of Alpha Protocol, a group not listed by the government. You get sent out on a mission where the people in charge betray you and secretly works for a weapons company who wants to start World War 3. Now rogue you have to compile all the evidence against them and bla bla bla. Take Splinter Cell Conviction, take out the dead daughter bit and replace it with Stark Industries before he went Iron Man and there's your story. And that's Alpha Protocol in a nutshell. It's a clusterfuck of ideas that might have actually work if the developers knew what the fuck they were doing.
Rating: Ass
NOTE: Why am I getting my ass kicked by some goth punk mute chick? Fuck this; I'm playing Blur.
Today's the last day of E3, and I gotta say it's a lot better than last year. We got a lot of stuff we didn't know before, stuff we already new, and stuff that probably shouldn't have been announced (cough cough Sonic Riders cough*). Now I can be here all day telling you everything, but because I can't (because I don't fuckin want to), let's just do a quick run of everything that at least I found interesting.
Project Natal is now Kinect:
Yes, Microsoft's anti-Wii machine now has an official name, and from what I saw...I'm not impressed. It's a cool device, but I'm confident that there will be no killer app for it, at least not immediately. Also, the price will be $150. Why the fuck would I spend 150 on a ADD-ON when I can buy the Wii for 50 bucks more? And who's gonna buy an Xbox, THEN a Kinect? I don't know. Let's look at some of the games:
Kinectimals:
A controller free giga-pet apparently. Remember giga-pets? This ought to keep little girls busy for maybe 5 minutes.
Kinect Sports:
Wii Sports
Kinect Joy Ride:
Mario Kart Wii
Kinect Adventures:
Wii Sports Resort
Motion Sports:
Okay, really?
Dance Central:
Ever heard of Just Dance? If you have, combine that with Rock Band and you have Dance Central. It's not bad; just wish they demoed better dance moves.
Your Shape:
An interesting workout game to say the least. I'd try it.
Sonic Free Riders:
.......okay
Child of Eden:
Okay, this is the only game I actually want to play for Kinect. It reminds me of Rez HD, and the music reacts to the targets you hit. Looks and sounds good.
Kinect will also be used to control everything other aspects of the 360 like going through dashboard menus, playing videos, etc, and all this can be done either by hand gestures or voice. Yep, Kinect has a mic...just in case you're too lazy to wave your hands like an idiot. Safe to say, Kinect isn't really that impressive to me, especially since you can't sit down to use it! They say they're fixing it. Riiiiight, like the red ring of death problem? How long did that take hmm? Okay, I said quick run through, so let's move on.
ESPN on Xbox360:
Sports on demand, right on your xbox. It's like ESPN3.com and it's completely free (to Gold members). Awesome! Wish they did this before the FIFA World Cup, though.
New Redesigned Xbox360:
Smaller, sleeker, quieter, 250 gigs, and built in wifi. PS3 and Wii owners paid it no mind. Not bad though
Playstation Wii:
Oops...sorry...
Playstation Move:
While Microsoft at least tried to do something new with motion controls, Sony just said 'fuck it' and created a complete Wii rip-off with Playstation Move. With that said, I think this will fair far better than Kinect because not only is it cheaper ($100 with a packaged game), it doesn't seem to pander as much to the casual gamers. It still does. I mean, it's the main reason you would make this product, but when you make game like Socom 4 and possibly Killzone 3 compatible, now we're talking the hardcore language. I'm a bit more impressed with the Move than I thought I'd be, so much so that I'll do a separate post just on it.
Nintendo 3DS
A DS in 3D and doesn't need glasses. That sounds good and all, but it raises one important question. If you were working on this, THEN WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE THE DSi AND THE DSi XL?? Are you nuts? That almost average to one new DS release a year.
Here are the games planned for the 3DS:
Kid Icurus
DJ Hero (how will they pull it off?)
Kingdom Hearts
Saints Row (really?)
Resident Evil
Assassin's Creed
Ridge Racer
Metal Gear Solid
Speaking of games, let's go through the list of all the more interesting games.
WWE All-Stars:
Or as I like to call it, WWE Blitz the League, except less suck (name pending).
Call of Duty Black Ops:
I would be excited...if another one wasn't scheduled for 2011. Oversatuation indeed.
Metal Gear Solid Rising:
Now with 99% more cutscenes and a sword.
Gears of War 3:
More Chainsaws. More chest-high walls.
Need For Speed Hot Pursuit:
If this is anything like Hot Pursuit 2 for PS2, this will be my Game of the Year.
Dead Space 2:
The survival horror/snuff film you've been waiting for.
Crysis 2:
The screenshots alone make my PC chug.
NBA Elite 11:
Will they catch up to 2K? Psst* NO!
Bulletstorm:
Play Painkiller, and then you know why I want this.
Star Wars the Old Republic:
The new World of Warcraft. You won't see your friends for 18 months.
Fable 3:
Fart in public all over again.
Medal of Honor:
Has anybody seen my Call of Duty? Oh, there it is.
NBA Jam:
Don't fuck this up EA.
Assassin's Creed Brotherhood:
I did say I wanted multiplayer, just didn't think they would listen.
Shaun White Skateboarding:
I played his snowboarding game. I don't have high hopes for this.
Battle Tag:
Actual Laser Tag, in video game form....and it sucks.
Innergy:
A stress reliever program...that's all I have to say on that one.
Raving Rabbids: Travels in Time:
I like these guys. They remind of my old friends...when they were sober.
Driver: San Fransisco:
The world's hardest driving game series returns to piss me right the fuck off.
Rayman Origins:
Old school 2D side scrolling at its finest...I hope.
EA MMA:
Oh god........
Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions:
4 different kinds of Spider-Man equals 4 different kinds of happy.
Marvel vs Capcom 3
Do I really need to say anything?
Twisted Metal:
YES! IT'S HERE! ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!
Sonic Colors:
...and all is wrong again.
Epic Mickey:
Wow, a Mickey Mouse game that's....actually interesting.
Grease:
.......yea....Grease is getting a game.....
Infamous 2:
More force lightening (inside joke)
Legend of Zelda:
I wonder what I'll unlock first: the hookshot or the boomerang.....
DJ Hero 2:
I better be able to freestyle during songs. Why it wasn't in the first game I don't know.
DC Universe:
A DC comics MMO? There are gonna be A LOT of Batmans.
Mario Sports Mix:
Think of it as a Mario Wii Sports.
Wii Party:
and I guess this is a Wii Mario Party. It's like they switched spots.
Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock
Dammit, not another guitar hero. We have too many already.
Just Dance 2:
GOD DAMMIT! NOT ANOTHER ONE!
Goldeneye 007:
Yes, Goldeneye is back thanks to...Activision? Where the fuck is Rare?
Kirby's Epic Yarn:
There is no way in hell a grown man can play a game made out of yarn.
LittleBigPlanet 2:
As long as all the content created in the first game can be played here, it's all good.
Metroid Other M:
I need to own a Wii
Donkey Kong Country Returns:
I REALLY need to own a Wii
Dragon Quest 9:
........never heard of it.
God of War Ghost of Sparta:
.....YEP!
Fallout New Vegas:
How do you survive in the wasteland? You gamble of course.
Gran Turismo 5
You SURE it's actually coming out this time Sony?
Silent Hill 8:
What the hell happened to 5? Don't tell me those other games count!
Portal 2:
I was gonna make a cake joke, but fuck it.
And that's the big announcements from E3 people. I know I'm missing some key games like Star Wars for Kinect and Project Dust, but there's only so much I can cover without actually being there. So, if there something I missed or you disagree with me completely, drop it in the comments section. If there are no comments, I can only assume what I wrote was awesome.
NOTE: When I started this post, it was 8:15 pm. It's now 12:03 am Friday......FUCK!
Try saying that title 3 times fast. Mystery Mortal Kombat Movie. Mystery Mortal Kombee Momie, Mytly Moo moo moo moo moo moo. Yea I can't do it. Anyway, last week Neil sent me a link to probably one of the most kick-ass 8-minute piece of cinema I've ever seen on youtube. Just watch:
This video is approaching 4 million views, and that number is just gonna get even higher (ridiculously so), and yet nobody knows what this video is for. It just shown up out of nowhere. Not even the actors themselves know what it's for. The guy who plays Jax (Jackson Briggs-the black guy for those who don't play Mortal Kombat) thinks its for a game. That would make sense seeing as how this clip was released before E3, the biggest event in video gaming, but many are convinced that its for a movie. So, which one is it? My belief was that this is for the video game since, again, it was released so closed to E3, but then while doing research on upcoming titles that will be on display at E3, I came across this:
Looks completely different doesn't it. Some people still believe it's to hype up the video game, but that doesn't sense. The characters in the video all have detailed backstories - well as detail as 8 minutes will allow - and it barely has any supernatural elements (the only instance being Scorpion's eyes). The game shows everything we know, love, and come to expect from MK (with some new stuff thrown in), while this movie takes all of that and completely fucks with it. So no, it can't be for the game, and if it is, it is fuckin confusing and nonsensical. I don't think Warner Bros. is that dumb. So it looked like it would probably be for the movie, and I was will to call this one mission accomplish, but then I did some more research and found something interesting.
So from what I can gather, this isn't a trailer for the movie; it's to show the people in charge that they can make a movie. It's a power move that they are hoping will pay dividends. I don't think this will work seeing as how Threshold Entertainment is going through hell to prevent it. Maybe I'm misinterpreting this website severely, or maybe the website is completely wrong (like how wikipedia posted WWE's Undertaker's is in a vegetative state when he's actually just taking time off to recover from injury and that's the storyline they went with), but that's the way it looks to me. Either way, this is probably the best shit ever! Okay, I'm being way too dramatic, but whoever wrote this, I have to give him some serious credit. He/she/they did in 8 minutes what couldn't be done in 2 fuckin movies. Based on everything that has transpired, this movie deserves to be made; I don't care that he/she/they butchered the main MK storyline.
If there's one thing I do know, it's that many (and I mean MANY) MK fans are fuckin thrilled that it has nothing to do with the video game.
Wow, it feels like I just got done playing the beta. This game came out pretty quickly afterward. If you didn't read my preview of it, here's how it works: take a go-kart racer, tell the go-karts to go fuck themselves, and get real cars. Yep, it's another Mario Kart, except you feel like a grown man when you play it. This game is fun, and was meant for multiplayer, as all kart racers, but there's one big glaring problem....single player mode.
The driving is a bit more realistic than most racing games, let alone a kart racer clone. Driving a perfect line and knowing how to brake and powerslide is almost as important as shoving powerups up someone's ass for 2 laps. It takes some getting used to, but once you do.....the bitch is still hard, but more fun. You get 8 weapons to choose from:
Shunt - homing missile
Nitro -speed boost
Barge - a shockwave taking out anyone near you
Shield - take a guess
Bolt - 3 energy blasts that'll mess with drivers (like green shells)
Repair - ........
Shock - fires 3 EMP fields in front of the race leader
Mine - acts as a landmine; spins racers out
The thing I like about these weapons is that when you get hit, it doesn't feel like the end of the world. They do just enough damage to give the attacker the advantage needed without being too much of a hindrance to the victim. Take too much damage and you'll wreck, and that'll really set you back. You also can't get too happy with the attacks either. With the exception of nitro and repair, each weapon has defensive properties that'll help prevent you from getting hit. You really have to balance offense and defense with the items AND race a perfect line if you want to win. Another thing I like about item pickups is that they are labeled so you know what you are picking up as oppose to some random drawing decided by the game. Need a shunt? Grab that item box if it shows up. You can hold up to 3 items at once, and you can cycle between them. If you don't want an item or see something better, you can drop the item you're holding. Wherever you drop it though, other racers can pick it up. This can play into strategy a little bit. If you drop a good item, you can place a mine in front of it. Anybody going for that item, will have to avoid your mine. I've done it twice in the beta, but couldn't pull it off in the game; I'm sure it still works, though.
You have to play this game online because online is fuckin nuts! Having 20 people online beating the holy shit out of each other is probably the most fun you'll ever have in a car. You have your standard races, races with only 10 people, races with only high-end cars, etc. Like Call of Duty (of all games), there's a leveling up system that unlocks new cars and perks. Since both games are published by Activition, I guess it make sense to piggyback of each other's ideas. In the beta preview, I joked about it having a prestige mode, and to my surprise, there actually is one. Once you reach level 50, you can enter what is called Legend mode. Your rank is reset and you have to earn everything back. I'll ask you what I ask Call of Duty players all the time: why would you want to? If you buy this game, you're buying this for multiplayer.
The single player pisses me off to no end. It's hard for noooo fuckin reason. Even the very first set of races pissed me off. It's not that I don't like a challenge, but this way, way unfair. Many times you'll have the lead, only to be bombarded by attacks, and they come at the most fucked up times, like maybe right before crossing the mother fuckin finish line. In the later stages, they will always catch up and proceed to fuck with you some more. I'm not talking about 1 or 2 guys that the game let catch up for competition sake. I mean the whole fucking pack, and guess what: they're armed to the fuckin teeth. If you have enough items to stave off 3 attacks, get ready to eat attack number 4, 5, and 6, and if someone has bolt...7, 8, and 9. Now imagine that with 20 fuckin racers. It's one thing on multiplayer: it's every man for themselves and you're not expecting to win every race. On single player, it's every man after YOU and you pretty much NEED to win every race. Like I said earlier, if you buy this game, buy it for the multiplayer because single player aint fuckin worth the frustration. Besides, what you do there doesn't carry over on multiplayer so why bother?
Rating: Sweet
NOTE: I had a great vacation....which by vacation I mean I went to work more often. My vacations suck.
