Well I'll be cunt fuckin damn. Who would have guess that this little blog that shows absolutely no sign of professionalism (or skill) whatsoever would last one year hosted by a lazy nerd who does nothing all day but play games with no real explanation on how he's able to get all the games with absolutely no budget, but hey, here we are. You know, I learned a lot while doing this blog. Mainly it's that a task like this requires one to eliminate any remnants of a personal life (especially if you're playing Dragon Age), but it's more than that. Here's what I've learned.
This bitch is hard
I thought writing reviews off the top of my head would be quick. Then I realized that what you think I your head doesn't necessarily look good in text, so you have to edit. After having nothing but text and the box art pic, I realized my reviews looked dull, so I added pics with captions on the bottom to make it look pretty. After adding videos to a few irrelevant posts, I figured that would be better than pics, which added more to the workload. So now the whole process can take up to 3 hours withouts distractions. Oh yea, I also have to play the games.
People really like DBZ
I really didn't expect any comments under the DBZ double review because...well let's face it, nobody leaves comments, but I got 6 for it. Hmm. I guess people really want to know about it. I wish I get this much coverage for my other reviews, or at least share their thoughts about ninjas, which leads to the next thing I've learned....
Ninjas are awesome!
This goes without saying, but let's say it anyway. You cannot name me one situation where a ninja would be inappropriate. Birthday parties? Of course ninjas can make those great, especially if that guy you didn't invite crashed the party and is being a total douche. Nothing ninja stars can't fix. Just make sure not to touch him or he'll touch you back...with his sword...to your jugular. Sociology class? I sure you know about the rule that if your roommate dies, you gets A's that semester. Same rule applies to your professor, especially if nobody knows how it happened. Now that's ninja. Sex? Three words: flips and flexibility....yea, that's what I thought. See, how can you bet against ninjas? For all you pirate lovers out there, I got 2 words for ya: KUDO CHOP!
I haven't done any Xbox games
And by Xbox I mean Xbox originals. You know, the games for the old heavy ass black brick. Why? Because the games I want cost too damn much. Jet Set Radio Future used topped at $120 online. That is ridiculous. Anyway, if I do review one, you know it's good...maybe...kinda...I don't know. Fuck it.
A looooot of Games
I play more games than I thought. It's actually pretty fuckin amazing. I don't know if I should proud of it or not.
Over this past year, I've been asked plenty of questions, mostly by friends who visit the site (and insult me afterwords...assholes) and random people who email me, but I get scared opening random mail for obvious reason, and upon further thought I should remove my email address. Anyway, here's some of the stuff asked to me:
What games would you like to see made or would make yourself?
First would be a puzzle platformer. There's not a lot of those nowadays, and I find myself shifting through Xboxlive Arcade for one decent enough. Obvious, it would have to star a ninja because who better for the job? Another game would be an RPG along the lines of Mass Effect 2 staring ninjas. Ya know you want it. Bioware...make it happen. The game I would make is that game I mentioned way back in my Halo Wars review called Recognize My Genius, and if you go back to the review, you can get the full breakdown. Somewhere, I will add ninjas.
What's your favorite game?
Hmmm. Are we talking recently or of all time? If we talking about all time it's the old Sonic games for Sega. Sonic 1-3 and Knuckles, not that god awful 3D Blast. For 360, I guess it's Call of Duty because I still play that regularly. I even stopped playing Halo. So yea, those are my favs, at least until Recognize My Genius comes out.
What's the one thing you hate about doing this blog?
It has to be the fact that while I'm working, that's when everybody wants to start fuckin talking to me. Texts, calls, and IMs just attack me almost every times. It's like everybody psychically tuned in to see when I start, and then fuckin distract me. Listen friends....cut the shit!
What was the biggest surprise you had while working on the blog?
Easy; the Saints winning the Super Bowl. I know it's not relevant to video games....but damn. Didn't see that when the season started. I will say this, when Super Sunday came, they won me 10 bucks. I may be a Cowboys fan, but Saints....you alright with me. FYI: we'll kick your ass again next year too. WHO DAT getting smacked around by dem Cowboys? That should spark some hate.
What game disappointed you the most?
Actually, Mass Effect 2, but not because the story or gameplay or anything like that. If you haven't played Mass Effect 2, this paragraph has a small spoiler, so if you get snippy about that sort of thing, skip this paragraph. He gone? Okay, so later in the game I finished Tali's loyalty mission, so I went down to where she works on my ship and starting a convo like I do with everyone. She starting dropping hints that she likes me, and by dropping hints I mean ramble like that geeky bookworm loser girl who looks kinda hot if she were to take off the glasses so you ask her if she wanted to do a little something something, and she starts rambling because she wants to, but she's so nervous so she can't get her thoughts out but.....where was I going with this? Anyway, I was gonna bang Tali, but that wasn't my goal. I wanted to do her because I wanted to see her face. Who doesn't want to see a quarian's face? During the love scene, guess what I didn't see...her face. YOU MEAN I PASSED UP MIRANDA AND KELLY FOR YOU TO DENY ME THIS!? HOW DARE YOU!.....I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me.
Why don't you use gamefly instead of buying all your games?
I did at first, but someone was stealing them. I don't know if it was from my mailbox or at the post office, but I didn't get a lot of the games I ordered, so they canceled my account. Ah well, at least I don't have to pay that shit back.
It's been a fun year, at least I think so. I've been drunk through most of it. Seriously, I've actually done reviews drunk before. I had to go back to read them, and say to myself "what the fuck?" So, what do I have planned for this year? Well, I can tell you this much; there will be more liquor. Stay tuned.....and sober. I like to thank my peoples who helped me: Ken, Neil, Bernette at one point, Travis for being a douche, that 2K5 guy, and even people I don't know or care about. Good Night, thanks for reading, and....and....I don't know, fuck it. Kevin aka Fackeen Oresum signing out.
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