Dante's Inferno

Gee, this year's already starting to seem like the year of rip-offs apparently. First Bayonetta as the Devil May Cry rip-off, then Darksiders ripping off Zelda while trying to make it look like God of War. Now we've reached Dante's Inferno, a blatant copy of God of War,and the Saints Row of action games, except Saints Row actually matched the level of awesome of the game it copied from. Dante, copying off of Kratos isn't a bad idea...if you do it right, but unfortunately for you you copied from too high a bar and failed to meet expectations. If you had done your own thing, Inferno would have been something truly spectacular, but now the best you can hope for is people calling you that 'God of War-like' game.

Dante is a crusade knight who probably should have died when stabbed in the back during the war, but somehow has the skills to kill Death himself and take his scythe. Despite the fact you're supposed to be a normal human, I have to admit, that's pretty bad-ass. Only a handful of people could pull that off: the Belmonts (Castlevania series), ninjas, and Kratos, although give Master Chief a Spartan Laser and we might see something interesting. He returns home from war to find his wife and some fat dude dead, and Lucifer dragging his love's soul down to hell for something Dante must have done. Since he was in the crusades, maaaaaybe it has something to do with the hundreds upon hundreds of people he slaughtered, or maaaaybe the people in charge of the afterlife have a problem with you killing their employee of the month and stealing his tool. Either way, Dante now goes through hell to get his love back. This game is based on the famous poem (which is basically a novel) the Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, and although I didn't read it, I have a funny feeling the original story didn't have Dante storming through the Devil's house and fuckin up his furniture.

The developer went through great length into making Hell a place you don't want to travel through, and in doing so, it makes Hell a place you want to travel through. Hmm, that seemed to make more sense in my head, but the point is Hell is more....hellish than you think and sets the tone of the game like no other. Each circle of hell you pass (there are 9 total) has it's own theme and set of monsters that range from gross to 'I'm not gonna sleep at night'. Don't believe me? Play through the first circle Lust. Seeing a giant demon woman with acid-drooling mouths where her nipples were supposed to be and has minions that shoot tentacles out of their panooches makes you rethink that date you had planned. That reminds me, happy early Valentine's Day. The developers tried a little too hard with being creepy though, like unbaptized babies with hook arms, and some stuff come out as goofy instead.

Now to talk about the combat: God of War with a lot less combos. That's it. The only difference besides the weapons of choice is that Dante doesn't link his attacks like Kratos. If anything, Dante fights more like War from Darksiders because light and heavy attacks don't blend together to make combos. Also, what moves you can do are much more limited.

What more can I say? Anything else would just be a review of God of War, and that's not coming till April. Yep, I'm doing another PS3 review because Kratos is that awesome. For those who don't have a PS3, this is pretty much as close as you're gonna get. It's good, don't get me wrong, but more was expected.

Rating: Fuckin Awesome, Sweet, Meh, Ass, Red Rings of Death

NOTE: Good news and bad news. The good new is this is the first review I've ever posted on the release date of the game. The bad news is because of that fact, it's hard to find decent vids on the game, at least without having to put the content warning page up. Maybe I'll post some later. I would put up pix, but I'm trying to get away from that.