Halo 3: ODST

If I had to describe this game in 2 words, it would be this: It's Halo. There; I just described the entire experience for you.

Rating: Sweet

See ya next week.

........................................................

All right; all right. If you didn't get enough bang bang goodness from Halo 3, you can now pick up this little gem if you didn't already. In fact, why am I reviewing this? Who doesn't own this game by now? You weren't waiting for me, were you? AW, that's sweet (in a gay sort of way). With that said, there are some additions that make things more enjoyable, but I just don't feel like it's THE game to get, despite others saying otherwise.

Big Monster vs. Pistol....Good Luck Pal

The story takes place between the events of Halo 2 and 3 as you control a group of drop troopers on a mission to save the city of New Mombasa, which they fail miserably. Did I ruin the story for you? Of course not; you got the game already, and if you don't, you still already know that from Halo fuckin 3. Microsoft proves once again that Master Chief is overrated and casted a bunch of humans to do the grunt work. Yep; Halo with normal humans instead of a cyborg. Talk about fuckin innovation.

Despite my snarky comments (haha...snarky), playing with normal slightly above average humans with great thresholds for pain and super strength does change the way you play. Instead of gun blazing and running head first into the enemy for one or two smacks to the head, you spend a lot of time ducking and dodging to stay alive, at least on heroic difficulty because any lower on the settings will make you look like a pussy. You don't have the usual kind of health either. You have a shield like Chief, but it's nowhere near as strong. Once the shield is down, bullets start chipping away at your health. Although the shield regenerates, your health doesn't, so you have to find med packs. If you played the first Halo, you have the general idea. Once you get used to this, then you may commence with the pistol whipping. Sometimes, it's better to just sneak around the enemy and avoid fighting altogether. Stealth in a Halo game...the devil must be wearing a winter coat by now. I'm saying that hell has froze...you get the joke. Other than that, it's pretty much Halo, for better or worse.

WHOA! Dude! Don't Shoot the Cameraman!

My biggest problem is with the multiplayer. Don't get me wrong; it's still fuckin awesome. If it was a cake, Halo multiplayer would be a fuckin upside down awesome cake with awesome filling and ice cream on the top (the ice cream's flavor? Kick-Ass). My problem is that the multiplayer is Halo 3, not ODST. I have this game already! So do most ODST owners! Why fuckin repackage it? I know what some of you are saying. "Kevin you under-appreciated, unexplainable handsome man of gaming, if the Halo 3 multiplayer kicks so much ass, why bash ODST for repackaging it?" Because they cheaped out on the ODST multiplayer. Yes, you have co-op campaign and firefight, which pits 4 players against endless waves of cannon fodder, but that's it. There's no competitive ODST games to be found, which sucks balls. I would have settled for just Slayer and Team Slayer as long as I get to play as the ODST guys and use their new guns. It's not worth 60 bucks for half a game I already own.

Look Alive Boys! Time to Do Some Pwning!

In short, Halo 3: ODST is a..........you're playing it right now, aren't you? Hold on; let me go online. I need help with unlocking recon armor.

Rating: Sweet (again)

NOTE: Seriously, how do you unlock recon?