They asked me to write it, so here it is. Prepare to hear the retardation that is the Bionic Commando storyline.
Long ago, bionics (people with bionic parts) fought to protect the people, and life was good. After a while, the public began to distrust the bionics, considering them dangerous. When one bionic went rogue, Nathan Spencer was ordered to kill him or her. When he wouldn't comply, that bionic killed several people. Spencer was tried for treason and sentenced to death. Meanwhile, the people wanted action against the bionics, so the government mandated that all bionics must give up their metal parts. Some complied, but other felt it was unfair and discriminatory (not to mention messing with their livelihood since the bionic parts were used to replace missing body parts. One girl had no legs.) and therefore ran away. They formed the group BioReign, an organization fighting for the rights of bionics. Here's where things get fuckin stupid. In order to send a message, they bombed Ascension City, therefore proving the point that bionics are fuckin dangerous......OI. Anyway, after the bombing, they take up restate in the ruined city. Being the only man for the job apparently, Spencer is freed from jail, given his arm back, and sent to deal with the problem. It's either him, or nuke the city again. The general wanted to nuke the bastards (good man), but Super Joe continually talked him out of it. Spencer didn't want to go on this mission, being pissed and all about his incarceration, but Super Joe had info on his wife. So, Spencer is doing all of this just to find out what really happened to his wife 12 years ago when he got his arm.
Then the story disappears for a while.
Turns out BioReign nuked the city in order to find some kind of spark...thingie (I can't remember what it was), so Spencer was sent to get it before the bio freaks did. When he gave what we will call the allspark to Super Joe, it turned out that Joe was working with BioReign, and they don't give 2 shits about bionics and their rights. They think of bionics as weapons. Nice, so all this time Super Joe was a dick.
Now here's the twist ending that has everybody pissed off
After killing some dude and tracking Joe down, it's finally revealed what happened to his wife. Joe explains that for the bionic parts to work, there has to be a certain bond. He said some other shit, but who cares. Everything he says is basically summarized in his last sentence, and I quote "You've been using her all along." In other words, Spencer's wife is his arm.
....WHAT...THE...FUUUUUCK!!!?!?
WHO THE FUCK TOLD THE WRITERS THAT WAS A GOOD FUCKIN IDEA!? THAT IS THE MOST RETARDED SHIT EVER TO HAVE EVER ENTERED MY XBOX, DISPLAYED ON MY HDTV, AND PROJECTED INTO MY EYES FOR VISUAL RECEPTION! Oh, and by the way Capcom, a human being a metal arm for another human...ummm...DOESN'T MAKE FUCKIN SENSE! UUUURG!
Seriously, my IQ dropped several points after that. That ending was worst than the game X-Blades. Shit, if this what passes as video game writing, I can find a job. Actually, that's not a bad job. Let me get my resume.
NOTE: So when he masterbates, he's really fuckin his wife. HA!
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