Saturday, February 14, 2009

Gears of War 2


Normally when I play a first or third person shooter, I find that the developers only concentrate on one aspect. If it's single player then online play will suck and vise versa (including Halo 3). Recently I have played 2 exceptions: Call of Duty 4 (with a kick-ass scene when you're caught in an explosion) and the Gears of Wars series.

If you're looking for a story, well there isn't much of one. Your partner is looking for his wife, but that's ignored through most of the game, and it's never explained why the enemy needed to start shit with you in the first place. Maybe they're setting up for the sequel; I dunno. The strange thing is the lack of story may actually be a good thing. You play as big buff manly soldiers who look like they eat steroids and piss HGH who rush into battle despite the fact they're outnumbered 14,568 to 1 (I'm assuming) without either a second thought or much of a plan besides kill everyone. It's pretty hard to come up with a narrative that's good and doesn't get in the way of the manliness this game likes to spew out. This game is so manly that anyone who shows emotion dies with the exception of the guy with the missing wfie, and there's is little emotion to be found from him too.

The game plays like most good third person shooters, but this game puts more emphasis on cover. Most battles require you to shoot from cover unless you're really curious how fast a brickhouse body can die after absorbing a million billion bullets. Other than that it plays like any other shooter, but it does it so well what more could you want? Interesting weapons you say? Gears of Wars 2 have you covered. If you really want to know what draws people to Gears just put in the CD, boot up a new game, and when it starts press the B button. Go on. I'll wait. Many of you may have realized that nothing happened because you don't own the game to begin with. Sorry for wasting your time. For those who do have it, that reving noice you hear is the gun's attachment. This gun is the Lancer, and it has a chainsaw attachment. A FREAKIN' CHAINSAW! There is nothing better than chainsawing an enemy who did you wrong. There are other kickass weapons: the crossbow with exploding arrows, an orbital satellite that shoots lasers strong enough to take out armored dionsaurs (yea, they're in the game...and you can ride one!), and the always entertaining flamethrower, but none of these can compare to the awesomeness that is the Lancer.

Now take said Lancer, put it in the hands of an online community who want to kill each other in a handful of online modes, and you have one of the better experiences you can have on XBOXLVE. Gears have added new twists to the standard game modes found in almost all shooters. Take capture the flag (CTF) now called submission. The rules are the same for any single flag CTF; two teams fight over one flag and try to return it to their respective bases. The twist is the flag....is actually a guy who's packing an overpowered shotgun. This is one flag you don't want to drop unless you want to become nothing more then giblets. As fun as online can be, I have 2 major hangups about it. For one thing, at the time of this post, it takes too damn long to get into a game. One time, just to see how long it will take, I waited 20 minutes, and i still aint get in. I wound up quitting. It's gotten better recently, but it's still a serious problem. My second issue is it takes too many fuckin bullets to put someone down. The better players will have little problem with this, but jesus christ I'm tired of reloading twice before putting someone down.

This game is so mainstream that there's no reason for me to review it. I only did it because a friend asked me to do it and I like to think of it as somewhat of a Valentine's day gift (so she better put out). Either way, it's one of the best games of the 2008 season so you can't go wrong right? Happy V-Day, and to all NBA fans enjoy All-Star Weekend.

Note: C'mon girl. Don't leave me hanging (HAHAHA...........hanging)

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